Ironic Romance
by Griffen
Summary: Hermione's a dominatrix, and she's out to 'dominate' every guy in Hogwarts, even Mr. Malfoy himself.....but whats this? Has Hermione's 50 foot whip (with extractable spikes) fallen into the hands of another? A blonde and blue eyed Sytherin prehaps? R
1. Default Chapter

**Authors Note: **I just found this in my computer, and I don't remember writing it. Oh well.

**Enjoy**

**Disclaimer: ** I do not own anything but the plot. 

**Ironic Romance**

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**Evening Star**

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_"Twas noontide of summer,_

_And mid-time of night,_

_And stars, in their orbits,_

_Shone pal, thro' the light_

_Of the brighter, cold moon,_

_'Mid planets her slaves,_

_Herself in the Heavens,_

_Her beam on the waves._

_I gaz'd awhile_

_On her cold smile;_

_Too cold-too cold for me-_

_There pass'd, as a shroud,_

_A fleecy cloud,_

_And I turn'd away to thee,_

_Proud Evening Star,_

_In thy glory afar,_

_And dearer thy beam shall be;_

_For joy to my heart_

_Is the proud part_

_Thou bearest in Heav'n at night,_

_And more I admire_

_Thy distant fire,_

_Than that colder, lowly light."_

**_Evening Star by Edgar Allan Poe_**

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"God!! I missed you guys so much!!! How come you never wrote?"

Hermione was all smiles as she gazed upon two of her best friends, admiring how much they had grown. Ron had gotten much taller, his bright red hair had become darker, and his numerous freckles had disappeared. 

But Harry had changed the most, although he was not as tall as Ron, he was still tall, his messy black hair, had grown and now covered his eyes, her stomach did a flip when he smiled at her, with those bright infamously green eyes. His scar on his forehead was as prominent as ever, but it was forgotten just as easily. 

"We're sorry, we were busy, you know Quidditch stuff"

Harry offered an apologetic smile, and Hermione was instantly won over. Not noticing Ron's hungry gaze on her legs, she had changed a lot over the summer too, they both mused. Her messy unruly mane, now fell gracefully into curls down to the small of her back, she was now a curvaceous beauty, fit to be in a muggle fashion magazine. Now the only problem was, who would she pick?

"I wonder who is gonna be the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher this year?"  

Hermione pondered, thinking about all the ones they had already gone through, a werewolf, Captain Hook, a beauty queen/king, a degrading centaur, and a twit with a turban. God only knows what Dumbledore was gonna cough up this year. A deranged veela perhaps?

"Probably some psycho form Azkaban. I mean who haven't we had?"

Harry replied, voicing her thoughts exactly. Ron chuckled, while munching on his chocolate frogs, stuffing him self greedily. 'Some things never change' Hermione sighed. 

"Oh look! It's Pothead and Weasel, and where may I ask is your ever faithful groupie?"

Draco appeared, in the compartment door, followed by his dutiful minions, whom she suspected were both gay, puberty had done wonders for him as well. His hair that had been once slicked back with truckloads of gel, had now been thankfully left alone, falling perfectly into his face, He had gotten about as tall as Harry, and was now sort off……….cute. 

"Oh shut it, ferret boy, go climb up someone else's arse"

Surprisingly she was the one to speak up first, brushing him off like he was nothing. She looked out of the window expecting him to fly away like the annoying little bug he was, but instead he stood in front of her, scrutinizing her every move, making her unbelievably nervous. 

"Granger?"

He spat out in disbelieve, she felt her anger boiling, what the hell was his problem? Was he blind as well as dumb?

"No, Rowena Ravenclaw"

Her voice dripped with sarcasm, as she stared stubbornly back at the surprised Malfoy. Doubt clouded his eyes, but he took it none the less.

"Well, you cleaned up well, but I can't say much about Pothead and Weasel over here"

Crabb and Goyle snickered accordingly. Bringing a smile to Draco's polished face.

"Oh blow it up your butt, Malfoy , and get the hell away from me" 

The whole compartment was silent, as they wallowed in disbelieve. She glared at the whole lot of them, muttering under her breath about stupid males with stupid penises. She smiled in appreciation when Ginny made her appearance. 

Draco took the time to asses the new and much improved Granger, his eyes roaming over her long creamy legs, as a sly smile crept onto his face. Not noticing the Weasly girl who stood behind him. 

"Get away from her Malfoy!" 

Both Ron and Harry, stood up threateningly, towering over Crabb and Goyle, in apt satisfaction as the two Pillsbury dough boys backed up in terror. Malfoy just glared at them, and made his exit, but not before giving Hermione one more glance. 

"Good on ya Hermione!"

Ron smiled at her, marveling that she now had the courage to stand up on her own to the threatening Ferret Face. She shrugged carelessly, glancing at the spot Malfoy had just been in. 

"Had to learn how to take care of myself sometime, I not always gonna have the incredible Harry Potter here to protect me for the rest of my life"

They all laughed it off, recalling the look on Malfoy face. But it was soon forgotten when Harry and Ron, got into a heated conversation about Quidditch, she glanced at Ginny knowingly, and they both said at the same time. 

"Boy's will be boys"

 **Authors Note: **Do you like it? I kinda think its short, if you guy like it I'll write another chapter, if not, oh well. ****


	2. Chapter Two

**Authors Note:** Hey, thanks to; 

**Aluma:** Of course it's a Dramione!! Is there any other kind? 

**Firennissiassassin:** I'm happy you like it!!!

**Zxxx: **Thank you!!!!!!!

Those three reviews, kick major boo-tay (second time I've used that is a sentence, and I'm freaking out….next thing ya know it'll be **THREE times……oh the horror) and that is why I am updating. Do not worry about my other fic, it will also be continued. Anyways I hope you guys like this story…..**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!****

By the way _Italics_ means thoughts.

**Enjoy**

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything, but my brand spanking new dominatrix kit….that I got for Christmas…from my best friend….the old one was outdated….no electric whip (with EXTRACTABLE SPIKES!!!) 

**Chapter Two**

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The train ride, was uneventful….as usual. Harry and Ron were two busy obsessing about Quidditch to even care that Hermione was alive. And Ginny was well…..just being Ginny. 

Ginny Weasly….the Snogginator.  

Currently snogginating…….some mindless guy. 

Ginny wasn't picky, and neither was Hermione. 

She suddenly stood up, and exited the compartment, leaving the boys to their own devices. As soon as she disappeared the topic changed, form riding the new Shooting Star 500, to riding Hermione. 

"Dis you see those legs? God talk about immediate hard on!!!"

"And those breasts……those large jugs of heaven, would I love to suck on those!!!" 

While Harry and Ron where busy concocting sly schemes to get into their 7 year friends pants. Hermione was stirring up some trouble herself. 

A compartment full of boys was what she needed right now and today was just her lucky day. 

Dean, Seamus, Neville, Collin, and Roger Davies, all together in one amazingly hot compartment. 

_I'm gonna have so much fun, with these ones!_

She decided to make herself comfortable and sat across from Dean, crossing her legs seductively, making sure her already remarkably short skirt rode up high enough for them all to see her leather thong. 

"Wow Hermie, looking good"  

Dean smiled flirtatiously at her, as did every other male in the room. She simply smiled back, and fanning herself idly. 

"It really is hot in here" 

They all clamored for the windows, and soon a breeze of fresh air rolled around her. But that didn't deter her at all. 

She pulled of her tight sweater, and threw it to the ground, leaving herself uncommonly bare, with only a short tank top, to cover her bra-less bosom. 

"Maybe I'm coming down with something, will you feel for me?" 

She grabbed Neville's hand, and pressed it against her chest, making sure he got a good feel. All the others stared in disbelieve. 

What happened to the book worm?

_Well what ever the change was, I love it!!!_

Dean decided, moving to sit next to Hermione. Neville quickly withdrew his hand, and blushing furiously he excused his self. Leaving her seemingly help to three moral less and horny teenage boys.  

But looks can be deceiving. 

"YES MISTRESS!!!"

Hermione soon had them eating out of the palm of her hands, from nothing but fear of course (and certain arousal). She had somehow managed to hide a 50 ft leather whip in her tank top, and 'whipped' it out as soon as the coast was clear. 

"Oh Roger………."

He stood in front of her rigid with fear, as his apparent arousal stood proudly in her face. His 'mistress' had dismissed all the others. And was now, unzipping his pants. 

"Oooooo, aren't you so happy to see me!!" 

"Yes Mistress" 

He suppressed a moan when she kissed it, and was waiting ready and willing for her to take him in her mouth, but he had another thing coming. 

Instead she gripped onto it, making sure he was in pain, and held her whip up threateningly. 

"Never get aroused, unless I instruct you too!!!" 

He winced in pain, tears blurring his vision. 

_How the fuck did this happen!?!??! I WANT THE OLD HERMIONE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!_

"Now go relieve yourself!!! I'm sure Lavender will be glad to help you, not before you give big mamma a little kiss" 

He knelt down as he had been taught to only a few hours before, and kissed her full round breasts, happy that he at least got something out of this night mare. 

He got up to leave, shaking in sheer terror. 

"Oh and Roger?" 

He cringed in fright, and slowly turned around to face her. 

"Come to the Head Quarters tonight, I think you've proved your worth…and tell anyone of this and never be able to cum again" 

"Yes mistress" 

**Authors Note: **HOLY FUCK!!! I'm CRAZY!!! WOAH!!! DID THAT JUST COME OUT OF MY BRAIN?.....I'm disturbed I don't know about you……………..well alrighty then, review please…..I guess. Wow Hermione's a dominatrix, woulda thought?  

(A highly disturbed)

Griffen


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